Depression is a condition where you can not stop continually roasting yourself. People don’t realize how much bigger 1 billion is than 1 million. 1 million seconds equal to 11 days whereas 1 billion seconds equal to 31.5 years. Homophobia is gay, because you spend time thinking about what other people do with their penises. You can’t be good at everything Focus on your core strengths Outsource the rest As I get older, I’ve realized that part of being an adult is being tired all the time, and trying to find different ways to deal with it. Future generations studying history will likely have to study tweets. The first 18 years of your life is not representative of how the rest will go. The sooner you realize this, the better off you’ll be. If you hear weird noises In the night, simply make weirder noises to assert dominance. As a child I was excited when the door bell rang…as an adult I pretend I’m not home.