Open Mouth, Insert Foot


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Jan 3, 2014
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Humboldt County, CA
In my case, saying the exact wrong thing isn't really an anomaly but I thought I'd share it anyway.

My wife and I make up bags to give to homeless people on occasion. It's not much really. Just a reusable grocery bag with a few things in it. I stay at hotels a lot so I always snag the soap, shampoo, conditioner and lotions. We add a full tube of toothpaste, toothbrush, wipes (instead of toilet paper), Q-tips, plastic ware, a couple of bottles of water, packaged tuna, crackers, protein bars and a few other things. No money.

Then, I carry it in the back seat of my work truck and when an opportunity comes up, I give it away.

So, yesterday, I was working along the main street of our town. While I was working I saw a woman walking up the sidewalk towards me. She was dressed in drab colored clothing and carrying a couple of plastic shopping bags that were bulging. Typical homeless person. I mean. I didn't look at her for very long, just long enough to know i was gonna ask her if she wanted the bag I had in my truck.

She walks by and starts to cross the street and I said "Excuse me, ma'am?" She stops and turns around. I still haven't looked her over very well. "I hate to ask you this and I don't mean to offend you. Are you homeless? My wife and I have a bag of stuff I can give you. It's in my truck." Her: "Homeless?" Me: "Yes ma'am." Her (laughing): "No! I was shopping while they work on my car. I'm walking back to get it." Me: "Oh no... I'm so sorry. There's a lot of homeless people who walk this street and you had those bags and I... I just assumed you were homeless." She's smiling now and I'm getting a better look at her.

Her hair is in a massive beehive styling of dreadlocks which she has wrapped up neatly. She's dressed in earth colors. She looks to be he early 30s and she's beautiful. Her smile would make any man melt. Her teeth are perfect.

Me: "Oh man. I'm such an idiot. Of COURSE you're not homeless. I'm so sorry!" Her: NO! That's so sweet! Thank you!. Really, it's very thoughtful."

And then she continued on her way.


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Mar 9, 2011
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I was mistaken for a homeless person at a public hospital... waiting for a friend, it was close to 6 in the morning. We had been there almost all night, so I eventually dozed off in the lobby.
Since it is a public hospital some homeless people stay in the lobby for a place to sleep, and in the morning the nurses wakes them up and ask them to leave. At some point someone came and woke me up, and it was the nurse asking me to leave. I explained I was waiting for a friend so she let me stay, but I could tell she was a little hesitant.