I'm addicted to the internet and obsessed with myself. (Big surprise there)

Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by Alligatorbling, Nov 14, 2020.

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  1. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    I told myself I wasn't going to post on forums anymore but I can't pry myself away from them.

    Alligagorbling is an alter ego. In person I am in no way as wild as I portray myself. Everything I have posted has been truth, I don't lie, but I blow things up and sometimes exaggerate. I post about the most "interesting" aspects of my life. You guys have a NARROW window into my life.

    I don't know why I feel the need to show off online. I've always been this way. ... in person though I am actually quiet and humble. I put others wants and needs before mine. ... that said I am incredibly self centered and egotistical. Its a paradox.

    Alligagorbling has been an alter ego of mine since the early 2000s.

    Alligagorbling gets people riled up, he shows off, he brags, sometimes starts arguments.

    I think the reason I'm addicted to social media is I don't have a clear idea of who I am so I look for constant validation. I attention seek.

    If one were to describe me as I act in person they would probably say quiet, meek, humble and caring.

    I'm not nearly as unstable as I portray Alligagorbling to be. Yes I have mental illness but youd never know it, you could come live with me for a week and when you left youd say "wow that's a level headed guy". My meds are on point. My thought process is "normal" I feel "normal"

    I think it all comes back to my obsession with myself. Hence even posting this thread.

    I'm going to continue to be part of the MF community but I won't share as much personal information because its SO much more to it than the couple paragraphs I share. I won't troll, I won't show off, its a lot of things I won't do from here out.

    So anyways..... its been a fun run. Alligagorbling is banned from a few forums for life. A couple im banned from as we speak lol

    For what its worth MF is my favorite forum of all ive ever been a part of. The mods here are incredibly fair and unbiased. Thank for the good work guys. The community here is fantastic. You guys are awesome. I joined because MF has a reputation for being rough around the edges. Yes guys, MF is mentioned on other forums ive been a part of.

    So anyways thanks for letting me share. If anyone has a question I'd be happy to answer (you'd just be contributing to my attention seeking behavior but it could be fun)

    RIP alligatorbling
    2001-2020

    By the way, ill still probably start several threads a week. I like having things to talk about that are on my mind. You guys are my bros. Its fun hanging out with the guys..... that makes me wonder, is there any women here?
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2020
  2. IOSEPHVS

    IOSEPHVS Well-Known Member

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    QVINE BONO DICIS
     
  3. Sustainium

    Sustainium Well-Known Member

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    Get over yourself.
     
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  4. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    My girlfriend tells me this all the time. I haven't ever been able to. Crystal points it out to me when I start talking about myself.

    I know I'm very insignificant in the grad scheme of things but its hard to get out of my own head. Its like I'm addicted to myself.

    Its always me me me i i i

    I'm not sure if its something to do with my mental illness or im just egotistical. Could be both. I'm not a narcissist because I have empathy.
     
  5. Sustainium

    Sustainium Well-Known Member

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    The rest of us feel the same way, we just don’t advertise it.
     
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  6. South Park

    South Park Well-Known Member

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    Get a life dude ever heard of OCD it is vary common in cases like yours .
     
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  7. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    Hmm... ill read up on it.

    I have a life, im a family man. Having a 3 year old kind of became my life. Everything we do basically revolves around our little boy.
     
  8. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    One thing I need to work on is letting others critique me. I am so defensive. I take things way too personal. Probably because of my ego.
     
  9. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    See that's the thing. I put all my business out there and I don't know why. Maybe I just like drama.

    I share my deepest thoughts on Facebook. I get messages all the time from people on my friends list (over 800) thanking me for being so transparent. A couple people have told me they feel less alone when they read my posts (and I post a LOT on Facebook.
     
  10. South Park

    South Park Well-Known Member

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    You need to get a grip on things with that three your old . So what are you teaching him all that self drama is good
     
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  11. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    As mentioned, what you see here is a show. And only a narrow window into my life.

    When I'm wirh our little boy its 100% about him.

    My girlfriend and I provide a very stable environment for him. We are very attentive to his health, safety, well being, and how we interact with him, discipline is something we are working on. He stands in the corner when he breaks a rule.

    Hes actually really well behaved.

    I'm gonna get some books on parenting though. I never imagined I'd have kids.

    He had just turned 2 when Crystal and I started daiting. He's over 3 and a quarter now. Its neat that I met him so young. He didn't have to adjust to 2 dads, its just "normal" to him. Its his reality.

    Hes talking up a storm now. I don't dumb down my conversations with him. I talk to him like an adult basically. He is able to verbalize his feelings and thoughts really well. I think he might be gifted. His father is a genius and Crystal is pretty damn smart too.

    A couple months ago we finished potty training. He went straight from diapers to using the toilet. It took about a week to get it. He learns incredibly fast.
     
  12. Crotch

    Crotch New Member

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    This is sad bro
     
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  13. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    Life is sad sometimes. I lead a happy life though. I am genuinely happy. My relationship with our little boy is strong, Crystal and I only "fight" maybe once every few months. My parents live next door and I have a great relationship with them. Its just im stuck in my own head so often.

    Family is what's most important to me. Me, Crystal, our little boy, my mom and dad and myself are closer than bark on a tree. We are all active in the upbringing of our little boy. We do a lot together. Our favorite thing to do is grill out. I'm not looking forward to winter because of that.
     
  14. Crotch

    Crotch New Member

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    At least you're not posting about putting random items up your ass like on MLP. So that's a plus I guess. I'm sure there is nothing more exciting for members of an amp forum than reading about your sex life. Go back to flakebook.
     
  15. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    If 3 out of 100 people get something out of my posts then I've accomplished something. I know people don't read my threads. I'm basically talking to myself. I know 99% of the people don't give a fuck and could care less. I know some people are disgusted with me, some laugh, some don't. It is what it is bro.
     
  16. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    I think its funny when people come into my threads and tell me they don't care, then they argue with me. I am living rent free in those peoples heads for the time it takes to read the thread and formulate a response. If they didn't give even one shit then they wouldn't have opened the thread or replied. Some might want to laugh at the absurdity of my posts and stories I tell. Some people get sick of me bragging and find some kind of satisfaction in telling me to stfu. They can't say they are not the least bit interested in the thread though, otherwise they wouldn't have opened it.

    Wanna know how to get at me? Don't reply. I get off on drama. Its something I'm gonna bring up to my therapist. It's a rush. Its NOT healthy. But it's fun. Well it can be fun, sometimes its frustrating.

    And dude. Yes its an amp forum but this is the off topic section. ddduuUuuUHhhHhh
     
  17. Crotch

    Crotch New Member

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    And it's sad as I mentioned in my first post. Nobody, and I actually mean literally nobody, wants to read this shit. It isn't funny, it isn't weird, or you being you, it's dumb. And there isn't 1 person who gives a shit about it. That was made abundantly clear on my les paul and you burnt that crowd out, then burnt out the Facebook crowd, now burning out Marshall forum. Should I just go ahead and make you an everything SG forum account for when this one gets banned?
     
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  18. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    Why are you reading it? Youre active in this thread. You are giving me what I want.



    Re read that.
     
  19. MarshallDog

    MarshallDog Well-Known Member Gold Supporting Member

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    Wow, I think someone needs a hobby other than Forums?
     
  20. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    Changing my behavior is gonna be a task.

    I'm almost 40 and have been the class clown my whole life. Am I even capable of change?
     
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