- Sep 12, 2021
- Reaction score
Thank you man everything you said is what I know but am scared to death of. I have tried withdrawals several times and it was too much to handle. This is why I truly believe there is no hope for me. I’ve been on opiates now since I was 18 until 33. 15 years straight of pumping that shit into my blood, tissue, muscles, bones and brain. My older cousin who used to do OxyContin 80mg pills with me got on Methadone and then 2 years later decided he had enough and moved out of state where he had nobody to fall back on and went cold turkey. He said it was hell for a couple months but that having a family now and his life back is the best thing ever. He even offered me a place to come live rent free to get off this shit if I want but I am a wuss. I don’t have the physical and mental strength as other’s. I get sick and my whole body falls apart and I can’t eat, drink or sleep. I don’t know what to do.@Samano89 brother! You are not alone, you are making steps already. This is probably the best corner of the internet hands down and all the regulars here are great people and friends with big hearts and nice sense of humor.
I have been very close with people in your exact situation and know very much what you are going thru. First goal is to get COMPLETELY clean as that's the key to the rest of your life. If you've suffered from addiction especially opiate addiction then you can NEVER just dabble it in EVER again. It has to he DEAD from you, gone, it's a devils chemical. It makes you feel "ok" like you can "take on the world" or "feel like your "true" self" but it's all LIES, it lies to you and in the process sucks your soul and everything meaningful to you and leaves you empty, hopeless and with nothing. This drug is not your friend and it fools you, it's evil (cliche but I have personal experience the drug and this is how I feel about it). The methadone withdrawal is way worse IME than any opiate pill and just prolongs the suffering... Yes that piece of methadone will take the withdrawal away and it feels like "sweet relief" just an "awww... I don't feel like shit, thank God" but it is just another shackle man and you body will still have chemicals feeding the massive amount of opiate receptors in your body... You'll need to just say "fuck it... I'm going to face the storm of withdrawal head first and I WILL come out the otherside"... It's brutal man but if you want to escape that nightmare it's the only way... The only way, the withdrawal HAS to he endured. Once you come out the otherside and have lived the misery of that withdrawal in me eyes its a great reminder of NEVER wanting to go thru that shit again! That shit is poison!
I'll PM you, don't feel alone, you may not have "friends" but I'd dare say most "friends" are over rated, I'm abit jaded and a loner now days BUT I have been in your shoes and longed for friendship.
Hang in there, I'll always be around on here, I'll reach out and you can always reach me back.
You'll get a guitar again, I promise, start dreaming of which one you want, it will feed the fire to move forward.