Bug , I Must Save You

Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by Tim Fezziwig, Aug 28, 2016.

  1. Tim Fezziwig

    Tim Fezziwig Well-Known Member

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    I get into my '98 Lumina-no fancy wheels for me- I drive to work. I work Sundays. I buy 4 papers. Steely Dan -Alive in America- plays.............

    Aja.....when all my dime-dancing is through -----

    HOLY HELL! I see tiny green eyes staring at me through the windshield. I realize that I must slow down. The green bug will blow off my roof if I go fast;be crushed beneath some dullard's tires. I drive 20mph. People honk and finger wave. I laugh. The green bug stays affixed to my windshield. I head back home, I can "clock in" late-I'm a "social worker"=I'm paid to care. I pull up to my house. I grab a plastic bag and gently pry the green bug from the glass. I unlock the door........

    "Mrs. FEZZ I had to save a creature."

    I walk back into the bedroom. Mrs. FEZZ and my cat, Sabu, are back in the darkness playing Parasite Eve on PS2. I open the bag and let Sabu and Mrs. FEZZ inspect the green bug. Sabu touches the green skin with his nose.

    'I was driving to work. All of the sudden the green bug appeared. I knew he/she would die if it flew into the traffic."
    "You did the right thing."

    Mrs. FEZZ puts on her slippers and we walk out to our pond. I open the bag and the green bug climbs out . I can barely see it,the green bug blends into the grass. I kiss Mrs. Fezz,

    "I must go. I need to work-save this planet-SAVE THE CHUMPS!"
    " Don't forget to eat. See you in 8 hours."

    I drive away. The green bug smiles at me and flies up into the trees.

    I just looked up what type of bug it is=A KATYDID! Steely Dan put out an album named- Katy Lied- with a picture of a katydid on the cover!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I was meant to save this bug..............


     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2016
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  2. crossroadsnyc

    crossroadsnyc Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    I killed a bug either yesterday or the day before. It was pretty big. It crunched.
     
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  3. Vinsanitizer

    Vinsanitizer Forum Support Spec. Double Platinum Supporting Member VIP Member

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    I was driving to work last week and I hit a squirrel just 5 houses down from mine. I slowed down, thought it made it across the road, then at the last second... "thwump". I looked in the rear-view mirror and...



    sorry, I can't go there right now. :( I just HATE it when that happens.

    But then again, I have no problem killing ants and spiders, especially if they're in my house.
     
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  4. Tim Fezziwig

    Tim Fezziwig Well-Known Member

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    c, no worries. The cosmos will even things out, enjoy your next life as a dung beetle.:agreed:

     
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  5. crossroadsnyc

    crossroadsnyc Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    He crunched like a Plexi :metal:

    Admittedly, I did feel a little bad, but he was far too big to be in the house. Probably half the length of my palm tbh.
     
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  6. Tim Fezziwig

    Tim Fezziwig Well-Known Member

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    ,
    c, I was a DEVIL in my past two lives....Oh the things I did! Now, I must be an angel or FOREVER BURN IN HELLLLLLLLLL!
     
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  7. crossroadsnyc

    crossroadsnyc Senior Moderator Staff Member

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  8. Vinsanitizer

    Vinsanitizer Forum Support Spec. Double Platinum Supporting Member VIP Member

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    OMG that was awesome. :D :yesway:
     
  9. Far Rider

    Far Rider Hendrixian VIP Member

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    Fezzman, you are a bright spot in my day.
     
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  10. crossroadsnyc

    crossroadsnyc Senior Moderator Staff Member

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  11. SmokeyDopey

    SmokeyDopey Well-Known Member VIP Member

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    I hear ya. I almost apologized to the roaches I stepped on when I had an infestation. Yeah, they're a pest but, shit! They just do what they do. They are a wonder of nature. Amazing creatures.

    Still-- they can "bug" you (pun intended).

    Several months later I started seeing more and more spiders. If I saw one crawling down towards my way, I would grab it by the web and put it somewhere else around the house.
    Well... they took care of the roach infestation. :D

    Moral: Leave 'em alone, eventually they'll sort themselves out.
     
  12. MexicanMike

    MexicanMike Well-Known Member

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    I don't know where else to post this but you brought up your cat, here's my story; I adopted an abused rescue cat that was severely abused, I mean severely. When I went to Petco the whole staff talked down on her, eff them. Brought her home, didn't come out for 2 weeks. Spet 10 hours sometimes 16 hours a day with her. She started off sitting at the end of the couch by my feet, then eventually by my limbs, then eventually on my lap & NOW SHE SLEEPS ON MY CHEST!!!!!! :fingersx:

    The problem I'm having is picking her up, she gets really violent with me like talking scar marks. When I moved her to my house from my mom's, she sent a kid to the hospital but we are so close. I just want to pick her up & rub my face on her. :(

    How do I pick up a cat to xfer her to the vet or whatever? Getting rid of her is not an acceptable answer.
     
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  13. Blueslicks

    Blueslicks Well-Known Member

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    helmet_gloves.jpg
     
  14. Fiat Lux

    Fiat Lux Well-Known Member

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    FEZZ saves the world! The world says "Thank you".

    And for your next trick?

    Cheers
     
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  15. Tim Fezziwig

    Tim Fezziwig Well-Known Member

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    F, I must end the world. I was planning on doing it in 2027 when I pass from this realm,unfortunately/fortunately my drummer had a baby=Baby FEZZ #1- I now must push back my timeframe to 2087.....call the locusts from my new realm-----Baby FEZZ gave the world 60 more years! EVERYBODY should thank Baby FEZZ.
     
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  16. Harlequin tusk

    Harlequin tusk Well-Known Member

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    Fezz....you are a trip. I only kill bugs when they are in the house! Especially f'in spiders, got a few bad bites last few weeks. This was 3rd day, hate spiders!
     

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  17. Tim Fezziwig

    Tim Fezziwig Well-Known Member

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    H, they are some EVIL bites. I actually saved some wasps last week; I "herded" them into Dixie cups. One was ungrateful and bit me on my "fretting" hand. One time a spider bit me right under my wedding band,my finger blew up so big I thought I was going to have to cut the ring off! Life holds many pleasures.
     
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  18. LPMarshall hack

    LPMarshall hack Well-Known Member

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    I never step on bugs. I run upstairs and get the hairspray and a lighter and send em to hell.
     
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  19. EndGame00

    EndGame00 Well-Known Member

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    Nothing worse than accidentally crushing a garden snail crawling on the door knob during a pitched black stormy night with a bare hand. ...
     
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  20. tubes

    tubes Well-Known Member

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    A trust of giant insects!

    William Burroughs warned us about this.

    I heed the warning because the giant insects live where I live.

    [​IMG]

    Every summer these Wetas appear in front of my face. In my room, on my bed, on my monitor.
    These are the largest and heaviest insects on Earth, I'm told, by books.

    They are horrific in appearance, being a pre-historic and heavily armoured version of, well... just a grasshopper really.

    But I don't hurt them, even if they appear by surprise among my clothes.
    We have to love them and take care of them.
    So we are told.
     
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