At My Funneral/Wake.................

..............I think I'll have guitars & amps instead of flowers.

 

I want to be cremated with ashes flushed down the nearest shitter. I avoid funerals so I don’t want people to have to attend mine either. My fortune should be enjoyed and not squandered on funeral expenses is my final wish.

 

I want to be cremated, and then buried on my property. Given the rise in deer poaching here, it might be a deterrent since it is also illegal to discharge a firearm in (and I think maybe within so many feet of) a cemetery.

Flowers I can afford. I'm not likely to buy and send amps or guitars to a funeral.

 

..i don't think that:

1) poachers give a damn about illegal
2) cremated remains urns count as cemetaries

 

Buried cremains still constitute a human burial and therefore a cemetery, at least in Ohio. The state of the remains does not matter. I do agree that poachers probably don't care about any statutes unless they are the complainant. It's too bad that I can't just shoot them on site.

 

Hunting accident? Thought is was a deer?

 

I like the concept of cremation and then having your ashes planted into the roots of a tree, like Keith Richards did with his father ( he didnt snort the ashes like widely believed but that DOES sound very Keith, admittedly lol). That way, you sorta start again in a beautifully symbolic kinda manner.

But if i were insanely rich and stupidly abstract and eccentric? Id have my body preserved and dressed up in a Aloha Hawaii Elvis jumpsuit, then placed upon a toilet into a plexiglass sarcophagus that when you press a button it plays Heartbreak Hotel and Burning Love, in an open cemetery. You gotta have goals!

Im just kidding obviously folks, relax lol

 

I'm going to be cremated. My loved ones can do whatever they want with the ashes. I just don't want to leave them with a big funeral bill to pay, and a burial cost a shit ton of money.

I'll let them decide how to mourn. A funeral is fine but what I would want would be for them to have a cookout and invite every person I knew. They could grill out and tell funny stories about me.

 

Not to be dramatic, what about a Viking Funeral?

 

I believe that's a misdemeanor...something about improper disposal of human remains.

Also, probably a few hazmat violations and/or arson depending on your jurisdiction. And illegal dumping.

I'd estimate 5 to 7 on a plea, parole in 3 with good behaviour... or a hefty fine and a book deal, but only with a high profile Hollywood lawyer

 

Www.andvinyly.com

Check that out

 

Once you're a stiff it only matters to the living.

 

At My Funneral/Wake.................

Just make sure someone else writes the announcement for the notice.

 

We put our Bass player's Bass next to his coffin. I played acoustic and sang The Dance

 

Cremate my azz. Dump me at the WWTP, or someplace you remember me from and like.

If you have a party, I expect keg-stands and loud music.

Be Happy.

 

Amen. I am having a wake. A loud ass rock n roll jam / party with some of my leftover equipment.
Party on down friends, one last time.

 

In that case you'll need to hire funkerhearse.

 

Invisable/visable-its a cinch.

 

It can't be done nowadays, but what I would like would be to be wrapped up in a buffalo robe, and placed high on a scaffold on a mountaintop in the Beartooth Wilderness.