At My Funneral/Wake.................

Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by axe4me, Nov 14, 2020.

  1. axe4me

    axe4me Well-Known Member

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    ..............I think I'll have guitars & amps instead of flowers.
     
  2. Sustainium

    Sustainium Well-Known Member

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    :slash: I want to be cremated with ashes flushed down the nearest shitter. I avoid funerals so I don’t want people to have to attend mine either. My fortune should be enjoyed and not squandered on funeral expenses is my final wish.
     
  3. IOSEPHVS

    IOSEPHVS Well-Known Member

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    I want to be cremated, and then buried on my property. Given the rise in deer poaching here, it might be a deterrent since it is also illegal to discharge a firearm in (and I think maybe within so many feet of) a cemetery.

    Flowers I can afford. I'm not likely to buy and send amps or guitars to a funeral.
     
  4. Adieu

    Adieu Well-Known Member

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    ..i don't think that:

    1) poachers give a damn about illegal
    2) cremated remains urns count as cemetaries
     
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  5. IOSEPHVS

    IOSEPHVS Well-Known Member

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    Buried cremains still constitute a human burial and therefore a cemetery, at least in Ohio. The state of the remains does not matter. I do agree that poachers probably don't care about any statutes unless they are the complainant. It's too bad that I can't just shoot them on site.
     
  6. anitoli

    anitoli Well-Known Member Gold Supporting Member

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    Hunting accident? Thought is was a deer?
     
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  7. Clockworkmike

    Clockworkmike Well-Known Member

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    I like the concept of cremation and then having your ashes planted into the roots of a tree, like Keith Richards did with his father ( he didnt snort the ashes like widely believed but that DOES sound very Keith, admittedly lol). That way, you sorta start again in a beautifully symbolic kinda manner.

    But if i were insanely rich and stupidly abstract and eccentric? Id have my body preserved and dressed up in a Aloha Hawaii Elvis jumpsuit, then placed upon a toilet into a plexiglass sarcophagus that when you press a button it plays Heartbreak Hotel and Burning Love, in an open cemetery. You gotta have goals!

    Im just kidding obviously folks, relax lol
     
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  8. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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    I'm going to be cremated. My loved ones can do whatever they want with the ashes. I just don't want to leave them with a big funeral bill to pay, and a burial cost a shit ton of money.

    I'll let them decide how to mourn. A funeral is fine but what I would want would be for them to have a cookout and invite every person I knew. They could grill out and tell funny stories about me.
     
  9. axe4me

    axe4me Well-Known Member

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    Not to be dramatic, what about a Viking Funeral?
     
  10. Adieu

    Adieu Well-Known Member

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    I believe that's a misdemeanor...something about improper disposal of human remains.

    Also, probably a few hazmat violations and/or arson depending on your jurisdiction. And illegal dumping.

    I'd estimate 5 to 7 on a plea, parole in 3 with good behaviour... or a hefty fine and a book deal, but only with a high profile Hollywood lawyer
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2020
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  11. Alligatorbling

    Alligatorbling Well-Known Member

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  12. axe4me

    axe4me Well-Known Member

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  13. anitoli

    anitoli Well-Known Member Gold Supporting Member

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    Once you're a stiff it only matters to the living.
     
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  14. Biddlin

    Biddlin Well-Known Member

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    At My Funneral/Wake.................
    Just make sure someone else writes the announcement for the notice.
     
  15. dro

    dro Well-Known Member

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    We put our Bass player's Bass next to his coffin. I played acoustic and sang The Dance
     
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  16. CoyotesGator

    CoyotesGator Well-Known Member

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    Cremate my azz. Dump me at the WWTP, or someplace you remember me from and like.

    If you have a party, I expect keg-stands and loud music.

    Be Happy.
     
  17. Jethro Rocker

    Jethro Rocker Well-Known Member Silver Supporting Member

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    Amen. I am having a wake. A loud ass rock n roll jam / party with some of my leftover equipment.
    Party on down friends, one last time.
     
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  18. Australian

    Australian Green Beret Silver Supporting Member VIP Member

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    In that case you'll need to hire funkerhearse.
    iKq6Chq5zx7a6jy68WbWxYPD2EUwqtn38wrMeZheHqg.jpg
     
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  19. Australian

    Australian Green Beret Silver Supporting Member VIP Member

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    Invisable/visable-its a cinch.
     
  20. DaDoc

    DaDoc Well-Known Member

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    It can't be done nowadays, but what I would like would be to be wrapped up in a buffalo robe, and placed high on a scaffold on a mountaintop in the Beartooth Wilderness.
     
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