Who on here is a convicted felon ?

Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by Blackie, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. Blackie

    Blackie Well-Known Member

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    .. So .. I show up at the police operations center. I wait after saying who I am and what for I am here .. to the desk cop behind bullet proof bank drive thru winsow glass.

    After a bit the detective comes out thru a heavy door and motions me to come that way .. then he walks me thru a metal detector in the hall ..no beeps .. and on then down to a raggedy chair next to his cluttered desk in a room of other reggedy chairs and cluttered desks and other cops talkin bout football or somthing.

    The detective says .. do you no why I want to talk to you ? I say .. well you mentioned some girl and some bad checks or something on the phone.

    Now yall reading pay attention here, because I could of got away with this shit.
    If not for my hate of that bitch fucking around on me ..

    The detective reached over and grabbed a large mannilla envelope and pulled out that wallet with that check and in a side compartment slid out my Army vaccine records that I had left in there .. My name .. Social Security number on top.

    Now he said .. why is this check and your name in this wallet ?

    I said .. I ain't seen that wallet in years .. hell if I know.

    He said .. Now look .. a girl forged a few of these checks .. we have a witness at a Food Lion .. do you know a girl that might of done that .. ?

    You know .. I could of said .. NO .. and thats all the questions I am going to answer and I want to talk to a lawyer.

    I should of got a lawyer to begin with .. but I was stupid .. and thought I could talk my way out as I had done a few times before. The stakes were higher this time.

    What I actually said ..

    Well there is this one girl .. I was staying with .. she prolly stole that wallet off me.

    In my mind .. I wanted revenge, and have that bitch locked up ..

    So I sold her out .. in 5 minutes of me giving her name .. the detective was back with her mug shot, she looked better in the pictures than last time I seen her...
    ...oh yeah .. she had a record already.

    So then he asked ... where might she live or what areas does she frequent ..

    I said .,, she's fucking homeless .. prolly sucking dick in the park off westover.

    They picked her up that day.

    But just like fucking Columbo .. the detective called me up again .. with a few more questions ..

    Wanted me to come back ...
     
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  2. Blackie

    Blackie Well-Known Member

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    .. now for a musical break .. or something wacky ...

    .. if this vid ain't cool .. plese ADWEX just delete it so I can continue the story ..
    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knDpIKErUWE]Rant and play 1 - YouTube[/ame]
     
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  3. Australian

    Australian Green Beret VIP Member

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    I've never committed felony. But possibly a misDminor once or twice when i had tired fingers.
     
  4. Blackie

    Blackie Well-Known Member

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    I think you mean ... CONVICTED .. instead.
     
  5. CaptainZero

    CaptainZero Well-Known Member

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    Blackie man, you can play! If, and it's a big If, you focused on it you'd be great. Plus I think you'd have a good stage presence. You're funny once people 'get' you. Takes a while though:naughty:
     
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  6. RiverRatt

    RiverRatt Well-Known Member VIP Member

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    That's what I'm sayin'. You got some chops, dude.
     
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  7. Australian

    Australian Green Beret VIP Member

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    I know you'll erase this when you sober up, so I'll keep it concrete.
    There ya go A-HOLE. :wave:
     
  8. Blackie

    Blackie Well-Known Member

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    Oh .. it was just one more thing ... same same ..

    Fucking Columbo ...
    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRHy3RL54sI]Just One More Thing (Peter Falk Mix) - YouTube[/ame]
     
  9. Blackie

    Blackie Well-Known Member

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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZiv8vkxMac]Columbo's Great Investigative Style - YouTube[/ame]
     
  10. HoneyDo

    HoneyDo New Member

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    When that stuff you're drinking kills you, you'll have some really nice breath man. Hey and when it does send you six foot under, can you let me have that SG? Thanks in advance Blackie
     
  11. Blackie

    Blackie Well-Known Member

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    Ok so ..

    I gotta go back .. I go thru the same .. thing .. except as I walk thru the metal detector .. BEEP EEP BEEP .. dam I forgot I have a folding knife in my pocket. This will not look good in a minute

    The detective takes it. I walk toward the room of the cluttered desks as he is behind.

    Well that girl .. she's in jail ..charged with forgery at this point .. but she did some talking to the detective ..

    He told me .. well she says .. you held a knife to her and made her write those checks.

    UH OH .. My evil has come back around on me. No I did'nt hold any knife on the girl .. no but I did get her to write those checks .. they never would of found her .. and they never could have charged me as well if ... I had just not said shit at the begining.

    I copped to the whole thing after that .. and told how I found the checks and got her to write them.

    I was charged right then and went to a concrete holding cell, and then to the Norfolk jail.

    I talked the magestrate down to a 2500 dollar bond., and since I was living right and clean ,, my Dad bailed me out.

    Not so for the girl .. was a month and a half till the trial and she got clean the old fashion way .. ha ha ha ..
     
  12. diesect20022000

    diesect20022000 In Memorandum VIP Member

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    with a broom handle?:naughty:
     
  13. Blackie

    Blackie Well-Known Member

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    Well I got me .. a public defender .. and at the time these were actual private lawyers that just rotated about and there was no dedicated office or full time public defenders.

    Which was a good thing for many a person .. just not me at the time. ,, no.

    The legal system is dam sure stacked and corrupt. They all go drink together at the end of the day ..

    Just like the Sheep Dog and Coyote in that cartoon.

    So my lawyer berates me for talkin to the detective and gives some speach about taking bites out the apple and other legal analogy crap .. and I was thinking as he rambled about strangling him across the table .. the guy seemed very animated and full of himself ..

    Yeah .. because he was on ecstasy and got busted buying it with a hooker in Ocean View about half year after my case .. motherfucker.

    Anyway he had me a plea deal of 5 years in prison .. They was giving the girl 3 ,,

    I was in the courthouse hallway and I said ,, NO .. I will go to trial .. I might ask for a fucking jury .. No way I would really do that ..oooo no no no ..

    So he comes back 3 years .. I said OK .. the time would be suspended .. did I mention that ,, ha ha ..

    So I go in the court ... and they always ask .. in a plea deal .. did anyone promise you a certain outcome for your guilty plea .. and you have to say no ..even though you did ..

    Wam bang of the gavel and I am on way ... but wait ...

    In a side room right off the courtroom .. they have a nurse .. and they took my blood right then for the DNA data base.

    and then ..

    . OUT THE DOOR I WENT ....
     
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  14. Australian

    Australian Green Beret VIP Member

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    Yeah very good. Now go to sleep.

    :slap:
     
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  15. Blackie

    Blackie Well-Known Member

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    But wait .. do I amuse you ? You think I'm funny .. I am clown huh ..

    I ain;t tell my Conspiracy to Commit Extortion conviction story yet.

    Not today.
     
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  16. bulldozer1984

    bulldozer1984 Everybody's Favorite Member VIP Member

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    I look forward to reading the next one, i certainly enjoyed the last.
     
  17. jvm210guy

    jvm210guy New Member

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    Write a book, dude. Kind of epic, really..
     
  18. diesect20022000

    diesect20022000 In Memorandum VIP Member

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    i've got some good ones too but, they're all drama sadly.

    one day i'll post em....like my 3 and a half week coma and half a year stint in the ICU, getting staff (a resistant strain to boot) in a pic line in my heart (long term IV for long term patients)
    my 4 blood transfusions, pissing coke syrup (at least in appearance)
    dying 3 times and coming back, getting put in the aids ward strapped down to the bed with a completely atrophied body in the nursing home and thinking something went HORRIBLY wrong with the blood transfusions only to find......




    anyway yeah sorry Blackie back to your thread mate;)

    yes this is all true by the way.
     
  19. Blackie

    Blackie Well-Known Member

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    Man .. I got another 150 stories .. at least .. but the common denominater is ..

    I am a drunkin drug addict criminal schizoid ...

    of course that did work out for Hunter S. Thompson .. well until he shot himself.

    Man he wrote some good shit, I liked his Hells Angels book,, Buzzard and Slappy Jack .. ha ha ..

    Go back .. read my Halloween story .. if ya like dis ..
     
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  20. Blackie

    Blackie Well-Known Member

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    .. Here .. yall want a teaser of the next story ... OK

    .. so I am in the cell block in the Norfolk jail .. bout 28 guys .. 24 bunks .. new guys get a matress you just throw on the floor .. at 28 we was ok and there was space in between some bunks and only one or two guys was in the main area with the bolted down picnic tables and the two stainless toilets and two sinks, and one shower stall.

    I of course had to sleep right on floor when I first came into the block. Wait for the rotation of someone to leave and get better accomodations.

    This won't nothin new to me .. and this block won't either, I requested it in classification.

    In fact as I held my mat and other shit as I first came into the block .. there was a guy or two that new me already and .. yelled out .. YO YO .. What Up Al Bundy !!!

    Yeah the brothers give you an alias ... that was mine.
     
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