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Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by Blackie, Nov 18, 2011.
Come on fess up ..
Not convicted, no...
Bwaaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
.. Yeah with the crack laws .. I could a got bout 178.000 years .. ha ha
Only the Stupid ones get convicted.
Nah ... what about completely Innocent folks ?
And now a word from my Sponsor ....
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So no one has a record .. what about .. just some minor weed bust ?
OK .. I gotta be the one .. break the ice ..
Now I know of course that whatever I say is going to be used against me.
I may of heard that somewhere before .. but anyway ..
I have two felonies. I can never again own a firearm and I can never vote.
My convictions , Forgery , and Conspiracy to Commit Extortion.
Now the actual story behind both of those, and they were seperate incidents is kind of
different than just the stark words above.
I will tell the storries maybe if I have another beer or two.
Now please refrain from coming in this thread just to insult or attack me ,if you can I would appreciate it, and you should wait till I give you more info to work with too.
I wanna hear these!
I've only been convicted of being good looking.
The worst I've gotten is a ticket for weed.
Is that like a coupon to get some free shit?
I as well have a weed conviction, a half a joint. You know that just because of that I can't get a PELL grant to go to school, Thanks Congress and the war on drugs. Heck I was never going to use that anyway, but still my felonies had no such restriction.
You would think the government should maybe promote education of those that could use some ... but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ...
Reach out and touch faith...
Ok so ..
My first felony conviction. I will try and shorten this up because all the shit surrounding how I found myself one day rooting around in a dumpster is too much.
So I am rooting around in a residential dumpster looking for anything of value.That could be bout anything from a broken lamp with a good bulb .. to say ..
An old check book with unwritten blanks .. and in that box of papers, there was also ID cards from a library and a video store card. Well it was a females stuff.
Now .. what are yall thinking ? ..
No I did not dress in drag to go forge these checks .. HA HA ..
No .. I was living with a psycho girl and we were being evicted ,, but still had the apartment. So I attempted to train her how to write a check ..
This girl had never written a check.. and OK .. um was maybe not a girl as she was a year older than me and I guess I was 38 or so .. so you realize I am dealing with kind of a nut job.
Now the account on these checks I am sure was closed so there could be no straight cashing for real money on them.
So the recourse is to go to the grocery store and actually buy stuff we needed or wanted and write the check over for some cash back, usually 20 or 30 dollars is the limit.
Beer, cigarettes and cat food .. maybe we got some human food as well ..
That worked .. the sound of the register at the Food Lion .. when they put the check in the slot to read the acct. and transit numbers .. goes clickity clickity clickity clack clack
when the check is processed and accepted by their network .. OH YEAH WE GONNA DRINK TONITE ...
Was only about 7 checks in this book, tis not the crime of the century.
How did we get caught ? ,, well ..
They can not be trained. You should know this!
Me and the Girl .. kind of fell out .. as she was inviting some homeless guy in the place while I was out trying to find some real work, and fucking him. But I had no where to go.
So one night I am walking up to the 7-11 with a few dollars to get me a beer. This is weeks after that check stuff.
I am not in the best of m
oods, and as I walk by a large old apartment building there is a dog barking on a balcony. I yell up there .. HEY SHUT THAT DOG UP !!!!!!
A guy up there goes HEY YOU CAN'T TALK TO MY DOG LIKE THAT .. FUCK YOU !!!
I yell back .. FUCK YOU AN YOUR DOG !!!! ... The guy goes .. iM GONNA MESS YOU UP ..
at this point I turn and walk toward the buildings doors that on the side street and yell .. LETS GO PUNK !!! ...
As I walk toward the doors the guy comes running out .. with a broom stick and starts beating me in the head with it .. well .. it was one them cheap brooms .. that shit broke across my head and I was like un afected and then ...
I guess his girl friend comes out screaming off the balcony .. STOP BILLY !!! YOU'LL KILL EM ..
So now me an the guy are wrestling as I got hold of the remains of the broom stick and we spiral off into a hedge ,, the guy at some point takes my wallet as I am twisted up in the branches and runs off. Police all come and .. I guess I was drunk and they did not care about any of it and left. I then got my beer at the 7-11 with the change in my pocket.
Well ,, that wallet .. had one of those checks in it .. and something with my name on it.
The guy had just thrown it into the street after he saw there was no money.
It was found and returned to the Lady that the checks belonged too ..
Months later .. as I had given up drinking and was staying with my family and going to a day rehab type program ...
The Detective found me. Now he said .. we just want to talk to you so if you come on down to the station it would be good.
I ain't done yet .. cause .. that evidence don't make for a conviction.
You don't go to jail around here unless you fuck up bad. I got pulled over when I was 14 or 15 for drinking (I wasn't driving - the driver was sober). They called my parents to pick me up. About the worst thing that happened was my dad made me take a shower. Why do they always make you take a shower?
When I was 20 or so, I got pulled over by the same local cops. I had a car full of beer and teenage girls. The cop that pulled me over said "It's getting dark - you really should have your lights on." I thanked him and drove away. Far away.
Lesson learned. Carry your cash with you... or you could wind up with no beer. Which would suck.
Me? never been convicted... Tell the rest of your story Blackie, wanna hear it!