Watching these people in this commercial, rock climb, scuba dive & live life to the fullest, makes me wish I had genital herpes. Don't worry about what you eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Worry about what you eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving. The main problem with having a tattoo is that whenever you go to a small town there's always a slight chance that the locals will have a prophecy about an outsider bearing that exact mark. Pro-Tip: if you check yourself into the asylum you get a bed, good meds and three squares a day without having to do any chores. [thanksgiving dinner] mom: no politics tonight everyone: absolutely me: this casserole reminds me of the bolshevik revolution. Why do sumo wrestlers shave? So that they are not confused with feminists. How can you tell which one of your friends got the best deal on Black Friday? Don't worry, they'll let you know. Imagine being on a plane and NOT eating every item presented to you, as if you will never again have ready access to food in your life. I get a little too excited when I hear the sound of sizzling fajitas go by. It's like these people that have to shop at Goodwill don't even realize how lucky and trendy they are! Welcome to the DMV waiting room, if you don’t have a cough, one will be issued to you. Thanksgiving fact: Giblets are just Grandma speak for the gross stuff. I learn something new every day that I didn't want to know. 8:23am: *calls mom, no answer* 8:57am: *calls mom, no answer* 9:12am: *calls mom, no answer* 9:26am: *calls mom, no answer* 9:27am: *takes a shower* 9:33am: *27 missed calls from mom* 9:34am: *calls mom, no answer* Black Friday Shopping Tips: 1. You don't need anything. 2. You can't afford anything. 3. You'll just be in the way. Y'all know you can literally buy a turkey any time of the year right? Because I'm starting to think some of you don't. Ring = she’s married Nose ring = she’s married to a bull
What a B.S. statistic... only 4.15-10.8% of college kids are having sex??? Must be watching too many genital herpes commercials.
Well the professors are obligated to hand out free condoms, so................................. It is the Condom Availability For Higher Learning Program.
