Humor - Liberal vs.Conservative

Discussion in 'The Backstage' started by Wilder Amplification, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. Wilder Amplification

    Wilder Amplification New Member

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    This is a Keeper....and Says it All

    Libs vs Cons


    If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn`t buy one.
    If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

    If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn`t eat meat.
    If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

    If a conservative sees a foreign threat, he thinks about how to defeat his enemy.
    A liberal wonders how to surrender gracefully and still look good.

    If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.
    If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

    If a black man or Hispanic are conservative, they see themselves as independently successful.
    Their liberal counterparts see themselves as victims in need of government protection.

    If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.
    A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

    If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.
    Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.

    If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.
    A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. (Unless it’s a foreign religion, of course!)


    If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it,
    or may choose a job that provides it.
    A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his.


    If a conservative slips and falls in a store, he gets up, laughs and is embarrassed.
    If a liberal slips and falls, he grabs his neck, moans like he's in labor and then sues.


    If a conservative reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.
    A liberal will delete it because he's "offended".
     
  2. rockinr0ll

    rockinr0ll New Member

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  3. Frankie

    Frankie Well-Known Member

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    This isn't humor, this is political banter. Nothing funny was even mentioned.
     
  4. jcmjmp

    jcmjmp Well-Known Member

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    +1
    :wtf:
     
  5. Adwex

    Adwex New Member

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    I thought it was hilarious, and fairly accurate.

    On some other forums, political threads are frowned upon, or even forbidden because people who don't share the views of the thread get offended or angry and start a flame war. I hope that doesn't happen here.
     
  6. Wilder Amplification

    Wilder Amplification New Member

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    I'm glad someone sees the humor in it as that was in fact my original intent...hence the first word in the post title. :D

    The thread title says it all. If political jokes aren't your thing...the beauty of message boards is that you can in fact pick and chose what to read and what not to.

    Also...read the last lines of the original post...kinda speaks out a bit in this case dontcha think? ;)
     
  7. Adwex

    Adwex New Member

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    Exactly why I quoted it.
     
  8. Adwex

    Adwex New Member

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    I agree, but not all people do. That's why political threads are forbidden on some other forums.
     
  9. Wilder Amplification

    Wilder Amplification New Member

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    That's because they see a possibly controversial thread title and the voltage in their finger causes them to click on the thread under no control of their own.

    Wait...what was that statement about if a liberal is a vegetarian he/she wants all meat to be banned for everyone? :D
     
  10. rockinr0ll

    rockinr0ll New Member

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    I'm an independent vegetarian but I am in no form trying to stop anyone from eating meat. I guess the thread was a little biased and some people hate talking anything with this substance. I for one laugh at both sides. Now Hitler is another thing... he's an ass.
     
  11. Frankie

    Frankie Well-Known Member

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    I'm not offended, I just don't see any humor. I'm essentially a conservative myself, and I think it's just a liberal bashing post. No satire involved whatsoever, just liberal ragging. Now if you want a good conservative/liberal joke, here you go.

     
  12. bro blue

    bro blue New Member

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    ^^^ That was funny, but I do have a minor point of correction: Winchester Silver Tips are hollow points.
     
  13. longfxukxnhair

    longfxukxnhair Senior Member

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    I thought it was funny.
     
  14. wegman

    wegman Member

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    When I am elected dictator I will make everything ok. :lol:
     
  15. Landshark

    Landshark Well-Known Member

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    It's not funny because it's true.

    I found it slightly humorous and maybe a little over the top... but that's how certain liberals have acted towards my conservativism.

    I have a friend who recently posted this Facebook status:

    "To spread love is my ultimate mission. Don't kill eachother, shoot a Christian."

    While he found it funny, I'm scared to go to his house, because I am a Christian.
     
  16. bloosman1

    bloosman1 Active Member

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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhw8DFSGzvg]YouTube - Richard Jeni - Political Parties[/ame]
     
  17. MonstersOfTheMidway

    MonstersOfTheMidway Well-Known Member

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  18. thrawn86

    thrawn86 Well-Known Member

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    It's a shame that he's dead now. He was flippin funny. :hmm: :(
     
  19. HOT TUBES 70

    HOT TUBES 70 Well-Known Member

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    man that sucks , i did not know he died !!
    he was one funny dude !!

    RIP !!
     
  20. Dr.Distortion

    Dr.Distortion New Member

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    Well...
    I'm a Liberal... And I’m a Democrat...
    My dad died in the Navy when I was a kid. We still mourn him and respect what he did for us.
    So, to say the least, I support our armed forces… Don’t even think to say I don’t
    And I have a carry permit and a .45ACP… I can put 9 rounds in a 3 inch circle from 30 feet in 15 seconds. In other words, I practice.
    So I if I get attacked, I pull my .45… If he doesn’t stop on his own, well I can assist. And if it comes to that, I’d quickly call 911 to get his stupid ass to the emergency room A.S.A.P. Where the injuries will be treated, and I believe, paid for by taxes… That would by good by me… I think killing someone on the street would haunt me.
    I happily pay my taxes so we have good schools so we can compete in the world. BTW I think Science is Science… Creationism isn’t science.
    I don’t make jokes about all Republicans being; stupid, narrow minded, backward, chicken farmin’ nose picken’, I can see Russia from my porch idiots… Now do I? I guess I just don’t see the humor in it.
    See my point? :)
    Don(Dr.Distortion)Williams
     

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