How to get GIRLS? - Page 8

American Viking · 10-11-2009, 05:27 PM

How to not get girls, wearing socks with flip-flops. Or just wearing flip-flops, sandals in general.

LOL

A wise rocker once told me,
"It's not about how you feel, it's about how you look."
"Use the ugly ones as practice for the pretty ones."
if you wear leather in the summer and someone says, "aren't you hot" reply with a wicked smile, "it's always hot"
when a chick tries to get you to buy her a drink at the bar "sure, I'll get you a drink as long as you make breakfast" if she plays along, hell yeah. If not, prude, move on.
get a fake ID. Might not do you a whole lot of good right now, but a little later getting one will be the best move in the world.

rockinr0ll · 10-11-2009, 05:28 PM

Haha!

MartyStrat54 · 10-11-2009, 07:04 PM

My name is Robert Smith. I am 22 years old and I have brown hair and stand 5 feet 11 inches tall. I have a black BMW 5 Series. I am a stock broker. Let's go out sometime.

Yeah fake ID's are cool until you find one you like and you have to explain that you are 19, with red hair and stand 5 feet 8 inches tall. Your car is a 1989 Yugo and you work as a mechanic's helper.

carnada · 10-11-2009, 07:07 PM

guys come on, my flip flops have personality

rockinr0ll · 10-11-2009, 07:15 PM

Hey I do too, I rock the Rainbows!

carnada · 10-11-2009, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockinr0ll

Hey I do too, I rock the Rainbows!

wearing socks with flip flops is da shit man. I hate getting sand on my feet lol

Frankie · 10-11-2009, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockinr0ll

I just don't care enough about girls. I would rather drink some chocolate soy milk.

You know, this post makes a lot more sense now...

rockinr0ll · 10-11-2009, 08:26 PM

lol you a homophobic?

carnada · 10-11-2009, 08:41 PM

believe it or not fag dudes get more girls

MartyStrat54 · 10-11-2009, 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnada

believe it or not fag dudes get more girls

No that's wrong. Fags "hang" with more girls. They don't get "more" girls, because they are fags. They're into getting their turtle in the mud.

carnada · 10-12-2009, 12:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MartyStrat54

No that's wrong. Fags "hang" with more girls. They don't get "more" girls, because they are fags. They're into getting their turtle in the mud.

hahaha holy shit you are funny man. MR PARTY BOY!

rockinr0ll · 10-12-2009, 08:47 AM

Lol!!!!!!!!!

carnada · 10-12-2009, 12:10 PM

turtle in the mud....are you thinking the same thing as me?

rockinr0ll · 10-12-2009, 12:13 PM

In the pooper... I find that funny.

rockinr0ll · 10-12-2009, 12:17 PM

watchtheskies · 10-12-2009, 12:30 PM

this thread is heading in a very disturbing direction, you're all sick and twisted individuals

American Viking · 10-12-2009, 12:36 PM

Gay dudes are better to hang out with than lesbians. A lesbian is good for nothing while dudes might buy you drinks if they think you're cute...

MartyStrat54 · 10-12-2009, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by American Viking

Gay dudes are better to hang out with than lesbians. A lesbian is good for nothing while dudes might buy you drinks if they think you're cute...

When I worked for the Pro Audio company in Phoenix, we expanded into custom disco sound systems for clubs. A lot of our customers were titty bars. Now that was fun. However, we put a system in a huge gay bar called Preston's. During the install, I got hit on about every 5 minutes. It was the longest job we had ever done and the night it was finished, my boss said, "Let's go check it out and make sure everything is working right." My god, when we entered that place I will never forget what I saw. Men in rubber latex with their asses exposed. Transvestites with six-inch heels sucking on penis shaped lollipops...it was a nightmare. Did I mention six or seven couples french kissing in their booths? My boss was short, bald and fat. I was almost 6' 3" with super long hair and the men stood in line to ask me questions. "Let me buy you a drink...I'd love to talk to you.

We were there for about 30 minutes. As we started to leave, a transvestite ran up to me and kissed me. I was so stunned that Tony, my boss, had to lead me out. He told me he was sorry for making me help him check out the system. It was not a pleasant night.

Story Number Two: INCOGNITO, one of the biggest lesbian bars was near our Pro shop. Every year, the lesbian bar would have a giant party. They would actually put up a chain fence to expand the floorspace and drinking was allowed outside. I had been inside the lesbian bar the day before the party. There was a huge dyke sitting at the bar with three stunning blondes around her. She cussed me out and said some real nasty things, until the owner told her that I was there to look at the sound system. Well, I fixed it and went on my way. The next day was Friday, party day at the lesbian club. I forgot about it and parked my new 1988 Firebird behind our shop building. I went and partied with some of the guys in my band. At around two AM, Vince, the other guitarist, dropped me off in back to where my car was at. We both noticed something and looked at each other. Before we could speak we were near my car with the lights shining on an unbelievable sight. A dyke had a strap on dildo and was banging a chick on the hood of my fucking car. I jumped out and said, "What in the fuck have you done to my car you stupid bitch?" Wow, wrong thing to say. She pulled out a switchblade knife and started cussing me out for interrupting her. She was a cocky fucking dyke. When she said that she was going to "cut my balls off," I teased her and said, "Yeah, you can probably use a pair." She did start to approach me, but then she heard Vince cock his Glock 45 and she then realized that she was done.

It was funny watching her take the strap on dildo off and put her "pants" back on. The chick she was doing was good looking and never said a word the whole time.

Before I let her leave, I checked my car out for damage. It was only 3 months old. It was okay, so I let them go.

Well it's a crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy world!

carnada · 10-12-2009, 08:38 PM

I live right beside a sex shop, and see lesbian people all the time....they are fucking weird.

MartyStrat54 · 10-12-2009, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnada

I live right beside a sex shop, and see lesbian people all the time....they are fucking weird.

Which one, the dyke or the hen?

carnada · 10-12-2009, 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MartyStrat54

Which one, the dyke or the hen?

I dont know lol. The shop is called Venus Envy

MartyStrat54 · 10-12-2009, 08:55 PM

Now that's a cool name. These places usually have catchy names. The dyke is the one that looks like a dude and the hen is the one that gets laid. They can look anywhere from normal to weird friggin' bitches.

rockinr0ll · 10-12-2009, 09:03 PM

haha this is funny stuff

MartyStrat54 · 10-12-2009, 09:19 PM

Yeah...about as funny as your puking pumpkin.

carnada · 10-12-2009, 10:44 PM

oh man, I also live like a block away from this homeless women kind of government building thing, and I see weird shit there too. Fuck, where the fuck do I live???

halasmud · 10-12-2009, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnada

oh man I went to this metal show of a band I really liked and....turns out the drummer was a fucking chick man, she was a good drummer, I told her all my TRUE iron maiden stories that I sent a letter to bruce dickinson and he read it live in his radio show, and then that I called a radio station where nicko mcbrain was gonna be interviewed and then I got to talk with nicko like big ol friends

fucking good times, and then I told her that I was in a maidne tribute band, and then she was like "WOW THATS AWESOME, DOES THE SINGER WAILL?????" and I was like "oh I LOVE those waynes world words lol". I was talking with her and shit, and she was fucking 19, I was fucking 16 at the time, but she looked my age, damn I could have lied about my age. Then turns out the bassist of the band was her boyfriend

I even so him touching her tits on top of her shirt after a few hours at the bar....really broke my heart dude..........

Anyways, theres this girl in fucking math class that is fucking driving me nuttsssss she used to sit beside me and on chair up, but now she sits RIGHT behind me. And seriously sometimes I have to turn around to look at her awesome legs and ass, and TITS. I even asked her if she could explain me one thing i didnt understand just to talk to her. BUT its the second time I take that course because I got a 50 out of a 100 the last time, its sstill a pass, but I want a better mark. SO I obviously knew the answer better than she did, because its the second time I take the course. BUT yeah, I got to talk to her and such, but now I dont know what to say to make her say SOMETHING!!!!! I should ask her something about math....hmmm........ ANY TIPPPSSSSS????

theres another girl in my business class, Im kinda the joker in my class, cuz I always tell good jokes, but some girls dont seem to really like good jokes lol. So this girl is really hot, but I dont think she really likes me because im not as like fashion guy, and wearing american eagle shirts every day to school with square design pants....

THERES another girl I like in my english class, shes taallll and shes got like the nicest fucking legs ever, just amaziiiinnnnnnnnggggggggggggggg. MORE TIPS LOL!

hehehe.come on guy

carnada · 10-12-2009, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by halasmud

hehehe.come on guy

nice first post

MartyStrat54 · 10-12-2009, 11:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rockinr0ll

Baaelch!!!

Frankie · 10-13-2009, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by carnada

oh man, I also live like a block away from this homeless women kind of government building thing, and I see weird shit there too. Fuck, where the fuck do I live???

You should bang a homeless chick. Talk about the ultimate slump buster!

MartyStrat54 · 10-13-2009, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frankie

You should bang a homeless chick. Talk about the ultimate slump buster!

Gee Frankie...you like them a little skanky or what? A homeless chick? That would be worse than rolling in vomit. "Oh baby, I want to lick you all over." [Excuse me while I go barf.]

Ever hear this before? Man is pissing. Man gets done and starts to head out the door. Another man asks, "Hey, aren't you going to wash your hands?" The other man replies, "Why? I know where my dick has been."

It's sort of like that, but only backwards. Do you know where her snapper has been? Yuck!

10-11-2009, 05:27 PM	#211 (permalink)
American Viking Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: RICHMOND, VIRGINIA Posts: 1,510	Re: How to get GIRLS? How to not get girls, wearing socks with flip-flops. Or just wearing flip-flops, sandals in general. LOL A wise rocker once told me, "It's not about how you feel, it's about how you look." "Use the ugly ones as practice for the pretty ones." if you wear leather in the summer and someone says, "aren't you hot" reply with a wicked smile, "it's always hot" when a chick tries to get you to buy her a drink at the bar "sure, I'll get you a drink as long as you make breakfast" if she plays along, hell yeah. If not, prude, move on. get a fake ID. Might not do you a whole lot of good right now, but a little later getting one will be the best move in the world. __________________ -I'd rather be a good liver than have one...

10-11-2009, 05:28 PM	#212 (permalink)
rockinr0ll Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,340	Re: How to get GIRLS? Haha!

10-11-2009, 07:04 PM	#213 (permalink)
MartyStrat54 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Formerly Phoenix, now north of KC Posts: 2,583	Re: How to get GIRLS? My name is Robert Smith. I am 22 years old and I have brown hair and stand 5 feet 11 inches tall. I have a black BMW 5 Series. I am a stock broker. Let's go out sometime. Yeah fake ID's are cool until you find one you like and you have to explain that you are 19, with red hair and stand 5 feet 8 inches tall. Your car is a 1989 Yugo and you work as a mechanic's helper. __________________ MARTY 2009 Gibson Explorer-Hell Raising Machine 1989 Fender Strat Plus USA 2008 Fender Tele USA 2004 Schecter Elite w/DiMarzio's TSL100 with custom 4x12 cab. TSL122 with Man 'O War Speakers. TSL602 #1 with JBL D123 Speakers and 602 #2 with Altec 417 Speakers. "Oh so sweet my friends." DSL401 #1 with Red Fang Speaker and 401 #2 with JBL D123 Speaker. Tubes: Let's just say they are NOS that kick ass.

10-11-2009, 07:07 PM	#214 (permalink)
carnada Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 662	Re: How to get GIRLS? guys come on, my flip flops have personality

10-11-2009, 07:15 PM	#215 (permalink)
rockinr0ll Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,340	Re: How to get GIRLS? Hey I do too, I rock the Rainbows!

10-11-2009, 08:26 PM	#218 (permalink)
rockinr0ll Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,340	Re: How to get GIRLS? lol you a homophobic?

10-11-2009, 08:41 PM	#219 (permalink)
carnada Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 662	Re: How to get GIRLS? believe it or not fag dudes get more girls

10-12-2009, 08:47 AM	#222 (permalink)
rockinr0ll Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,340	Re: How to get GIRLS? Lol!!!!!!!!!

10-12-2009, 12:10 PM	#223 (permalink)
carnada Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 662	Re: How to get GIRLS? turtle in the mud....are you thinking the same thing as me?

10-12-2009, 12:13 PM	#224 (permalink)
rockinr0ll Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,340	Re: How to get GIRLS? In the pooper... I find that funny.

10-12-2009, 12:17 PM	#225 (permalink)
rockinr0ll Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,340	Re: How to get GIRLS?

10-12-2009, 12:30 PM	#226 (permalink)
watchtheskies Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: England Posts: 117	Re: How to get GIRLS? this thread is heading in a very disturbing direction, you're all sick and twisted individuals

10-12-2009, 12:36 PM	#227 (permalink)
American Viking Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: RICHMOND, VIRGINIA Posts: 1,510	Re: How to get GIRLS? Gay dudes are better to hang out with than lesbians. A lesbian is good for nothing while dudes might buy you drinks if they think you're cute... __________________ -I'd rather be a good liver than have one...

10-12-2009, 08:38 PM	#229 (permalink)
carnada Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 662	Re: How to get GIRLS? I live right beside a sex shop, and see lesbian people all the time....they are fucking weird.

10-12-2009, 08:55 PM	#232 (permalink)
MartyStrat54 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Formerly Phoenix, now north of KC Posts: 2,583	Re: How to get GIRLS? Now that's a cool name. These places usually have catchy names. The dyke is the one that looks like a dude and the hen is the one that gets laid. They can look anywhere from normal to weird friggin' bitches. __________________ MARTY 2009 Gibson Explorer-Hell Raising Machine 1989 Fender Strat Plus USA 2008 Fender Tele USA 2004 Schecter Elite w/DiMarzio's TSL100 with custom 4x12 cab. TSL122 with Man 'O War Speakers. TSL602 #1 with JBL D123 Speakers and 602 #2 with Altec 417 Speakers. "Oh so sweet my friends." DSL401 #1 with Red Fang Speaker and 401 #2 with JBL D123 Speaker. Tubes: Let's just say they are NOS that kick ass.

10-12-2009, 09:03 PM	#233 (permalink)
rockinr0ll Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,340	Re: How to get GIRLS? haha this is funny stuff

10-12-2009, 09:19 PM	#234 (permalink)
MartyStrat54 Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Formerly Phoenix, now north of KC Posts: 2,583	Re: How to get GIRLS? Yeah...about as funny as your puking pumpkin. __________________ MARTY 2009 Gibson Explorer-Hell Raising Machine 1989 Fender Strat Plus USA 2008 Fender Tele USA 2004 Schecter Elite w/DiMarzio's TSL100 with custom 4x12 cab. TSL122 with Man 'O War Speakers. TSL602 #1 with JBL D123 Speakers and 602 #2 with Altec 417 Speakers. "Oh so sweet my friends." DSL401 #1 with Red Fang Speaker and 401 #2 with JBL D123 Speaker. Tubes: Let's just say they are NOS that kick ass.

10-12-2009, 10:44 PM	#235 (permalink)
carnada Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: 22 Acacia Avenue Posts: 662	Re: How to get GIRLS? oh man, I also live like a block away from this homeless women kind of government building thing, and I see weird shit there too. Fuck, where the fuck do I live???

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